Reddit down.

So today Reddit was down for most of the day, and it suggested that people would draw on bananas to kill time. Here’s the result:

Yeah guys. C: Oh just one fun fact: Bananas in Australia cost 15 bucks per kilogram. GO FAIR MARKET!

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Day 4 – A letter to Bonnie’s crush/current significant other.

fuck it, son. I am getting this done. I’ve been stuck on this one for a month or so honestly… and I’ve had like multiple drafts, so whatever I type up I’ll keep and go with. I’M HERE PROMISING MYSELF. YEAP!

 

December 7th, 2011

Dear significant other,

LOL SIGNIFICANT OTHER? THIS IS A LETTER TO MYSELF. I AM MY ONLY LOVER.

Love,

Bonnie.

December 7th, 2011

Dear crush,

I can tell you like me, but I’m not sure if you like me that way or enough. You’re the guy, you make the move first… maybe.

Love,

Bonnie

 

 

what the hell does this mean

SO, this afternoon I took a nap.

This story sounds exhilarating already, doesn’t it?

I had a dream.

A literal dream.

Not a dream like Unkz’s stupid company for interweb friends.

It was an odd dream, like all of the ones I actually remember.

So in the dream, it was all in this huuuuuuge mall.

Name a store, and this mall had it. (I THINK I HAD ANOTHER MALL DREAM THIS YEAR TOO)

Then there I was, pregnant. (this was in that other dream too, wtf.)

Yeah, pregnant.

…like six months in.

I was like thirty years old too.

I got a phone call from what I guess was my in-dream husband, he said something about being there before the doors closed for the “problem outside.”

I assume it was some APOCALYPSE OH NOOO OH GOD WE ALL GONNA DIE thing.

So I wander around the mall with my preggo belly and I see a ton of people. A TON. They were all just loitering around chatting though, not shopping, not worrying about this APOCALYPSE, just chatting like people on lunch break.

So then I try finding the FF people

and I find everyone in walmart by the toys/games section opening all the games and crap and playing with them (lolwhat?).

There were other close friends and online friends around too.

and so duh, everyone else is older too.

also apparently in the dream, ree was my “second husband,” for real. Like I married my husband, and then illegally married ree.

looooooooool. Unkz was there too and after ree dumped him (FOR ME HAHAHHA) he was reunited with CELINA. (that is like… awesome though…)

Mint married some super rich successful guy and was IN LOOOOOVEEEe and had a huge family (seriously. over ten kids). lololol.

Jed married some unknown Filipino guy who didn’t even speak English. LOL

Everyone else also had their lovers around, NO ONE WAS FOREVER ALONE JUST YET. Except me with my first husband out doing junk wut.

YEAH so we talk about this coming apocalypse (which no one has any idea about other than it’s an apocalypse).

Then OMG AN EARTHQUAKE HAPPENED and things exploded,

my husband comes in at this point yelling for me (BUT NO, IT’S LIGHTS WENT OUT AND I CAN’T SEE HIM).

then the lights come back and everyone disappeared.

I then walk around, and of course a ton of damage has happened.

All the people who were around earlier disappeared.

DISAPPEARED. THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE.

and I’m the only one left.

…well, me and some unborn baby in mah belleh.

I go out to the parking lot and HELLO. There’s everyone

…..fighting off  robots.

With magic, swords and bows and arrows.

wtf happened to guns, idk.

Was like some epic mmo maaaan.

Except… yeah.

Then a robot came rushing toward me

and the FF CAME TO THE RESCUE OMG!!!1!!

fo srs. like an mmo.

and the rest was stuff you only see on corny television and kid shows.

stuff like extreme TEAMWORK and KILLING WITHOUT ANY BLOOD AT ALL

and corny lines like “WE NEED ALL OF OUR TEAM TO BE SUCCESSFUL!! WOOOOO!”

also, hell, during this robot invasion it was raining.

waterproof robots.

whoever was behind it was not stupid.

and because, remember, I was pregnant, I couldn’t fight

but that doesn’t matter `cause I was another light magic healer person.

and that’s all I could do.

loooooool

and after what was days and days in dream world

THE HOMO sapienS WON.

WOOOOOOOOO screw you robots

oh and all the people who died earlier were revived by magicks.

idk how.

then the dream ended by every online friend I’ve met and every close friend living in the huuuuge mall (which me and mai unknown husbando owned from before the beginning, wut) because everyone’s houses GOT BROKE.

The FF lived in walmart

And then I woke up.

On the plane back from Panama to São Paulo…

(Just thinking why the hell it took me around a month to post this. Yeah Ikr, I’m that lame.)

There I was, sitting on my on with my almost overweight suitcase and  bags from duty free with almost 8 pounds of candy and 1 M&Ms dispenser and an alarm clock. It felt like I was trafficking sugar from one country to another one, but anyways, it seemed like I’d have a flight like any other: Me and the Jazz songs the plane would broadcast.

However, I noticed this woman in front of me wearing earphones right when the plane was about to take off. I thought with myself : “Dude, bad idea.” Then I tried warning her that if she kept the earphones, she would have trouble dealing with the atm changes when we get to São Paulo. She had an “Oh crap” reaction right when I said that and then replied: “But we’re still not taking off” with a smile. I laughed and both of us sat back and relaxed, until this guy sitting beside me went up to both of us saying:

– I did not know that if you wore earphones that could actually happen!

Just like that, the three of us started talking about how our ears hurt when the plane goes down to land, and not when it takes off(srsly I still don’t get why that happens, but anyways), our favorite songs, bands, music genre and our dream jobs, until this semi-drunk guy when he first went up to us(yes he was completely drunk when the plane landed. That’s what happens when you have 5+ glasses of scotch when you’re a little bit intoxicated) and said:

– Life is beautiful, and money is provisory. Listen to what I’m saying, since I’m somewhat drunk and I do not know you people at all: Do what you love.

As those drunken words came out of his mouth, it felt like it was really comfortable talking to them. The more I thought, the more it made sense to get to know them more. The woman I first reached out to is called Giselle Pierre, she is a 21 year old college student that wishes to be an ambiental engineer; the man who was actually a 16 year old teenager, was called Matheus and he loves Yu-Gi-Oh. I’m more than sure that we spent at least 45 minutes talking about it. And for the drunk guy, his name is Sergio. He’s a brazilian who moved to Panama but came back  to SP for work. He got drunk on the plane and he needed to work the next day. I wonder if the following day was as pleasant as that dawn flight.

Later on, we discussed Politics and how this administration sucked ass. Actually, I don’t think I witnessed an administration that’s worth mentioning here, but anyways.

And that’s my short story of meeting people who inspired me to find a job I love and go after the people I enjoy spending time with.

Ok, so

Here I am in aruba having fun and all, but who would ever expect I would:

Go to a strip club look for a whore for my uncle’s bachelor party,

Having to hold back your cousin that’s twice your size because of his goddamn short temper so we wouldn’t get into a fight,

Play Dominoes with drunk 20ish year old people and lose,

Have those drunk ass women drive round with a flashlight in a dark place so they could flash people having secks in other cars,

Junkie ass guy smoke weed, then have him laugh for the whole ride back to our place,

Visiting almost every casino you see in front of you just so you’ll play bingo with your aunt HAR HAR HAR shes a pro

Stare at hot women while old hags that happen to be your aunt’s friends flirt with you,

and who knows what might happen before the goddamn wedding.

I’m just sayin’

BEST

VACATION

EVAR.

(To be edited AGAIN)

both always gets them. :(

I’ve been screwing on omegle.
Fo lyk, ZE VEWY FURST TIEM.

At first I just kept goin ##/both/anywhere

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: ello
Stranger: illo
Stranger: asl?
You: 43/both/austria
Stranger: both?
Stranger: ?????????????????
You: aw yeah ;D
Stranger: fuck u
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: hello
Stranger: 21,m india
Stranger: asl?
You: 32/both/brazil
Stranger: what both
Stranger: m or f?
You: both. ;D
Stranger: then bye
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

^-at least that one said bye. :(

On Omegle, my name is Sovrie Ylaze.
loooool.
a/s/l = 17/f/Australia
Can you tell I’m being creative? 8D
welli’mnotbeingso.
AUSTRALIA’S PRETTY COOL, BTW.
Actually I don’t know.
Same as how I don’t know what I’m doing.

I have omegle open right now.
I’m such a troll.
This is how I’m spending my sunday.
But I’d be on Vindictus if I could.

Anyway, the rest of this post will be my omegle trolling. And yeah, I did have muffins. Freshly baked.

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