I’ve learned how hard it gets to let go of things.
However, what bothers me is the way I did so.
In the process of doing so I became… unattached. It’s become hard to attach to someone else. Not that I don’t, but it certainly has become harder to do so.
My mind has unlearned the ways of relating to others, such in a way I find myself to have become once more, lonely.
Yes, I’m lonely.
But weirdly enough,
that’s what I wish for,
while at the same time,
what I don’t.
So it’s decided, I’ve always been twisted like this, haven’t I?
Even when I was around you guys.
Amazing how being distant to people does that to us, but if anything, I was very close to you.
That’s the harder thing to process.
Why, even if we had such good times together I had such a hard time involving myself with all of you?
One part of it was culture, but I managed to skip that over. I’d watch and listen what you had. And we’d have some weird moments whenever I brought forth some of our references, and so many precocious Brazilian Memes.
I was probably like this the whole time.
Looking back now, we just didn’t give a shit. That’s the problem isn’t it? Thinking too much?
I just need to go and do it.
Even if it places me into uncomfortable situations.
I mean that’s how I met all of you, didn’t I?
Thanks for the good times.
… Or like godbedamned fall out boy would say it:thanksfthemmrs.
Oh fuck, kill me please HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.