Olhe pra mim.

(Don’t try to interprete this. It was meant to me. However, should you choose to carry on I advise you to open your mind.)

Ah, como vai a vida?

Eu não sei se ela vai bem, ou mal. Talvez ande pra ambos, ou para um so. Quem sabe? É do futuro que estamos falando, afinal de contas.

J’ai trés mal, é pura e simplesmente a definição que me corrompe agora. Esse cancer maldito.

As celulas que me mantinham vivo, agora causam assaltos contra si mesmas.

Como nos sabemos, a cada ano que passa eu tenho uma lição de vida. Aos 16, eu aprendi a beleza da extravaganza.

E no início dos meus 17, eu não faço a MINIMA ideia do que vai acontecer. E nunca virei, ja que é esta a beleza da vida,

e tenho certeza que vou concordar com esta afirmação ao longo de minha vida.

“Qu’est que c’est?” Voce já deve estar perguntando.

Bom, não isole-se.

Eu todo esse tempo, tentando me autoconhecer através de isolamento extremo, entendi o que eu procuro.

Eu me encontrei, bom ao menos parcialmente. Ainda preciso conhecer alguns lados de mim inesperados.

Voce acha que sozinho, voce é capaz. Não tenho duvidas, mas pare. Só pare, e sinta. Realmente vale a pena?

Se sim, siga a sua intuição. Aprendi que não devo contrariar a minha, já que por natureza é um belo de um tiro certeiro,

como Guilherme Tell e sua Maçã.

Se não, quero que siga a sua intuição e a logica que nos foram dadas por nosso pai e irmã.

Sei que você é capaz de chegar lá. Sei que você vai longe. Sempre miramos alto, lembra?

“Conheço muitos que não puderam, quando deviam, porque não quiseram quando podiam.”

Nós queremos, nós devemos e nós podemos. Agora só resta a declaração de independencia.

Mon chère, tu est un garçon a tourner un homme.

E nunca se esqueça:

Was yea ra sonwe, infel en yor.

Day 1

Ok, so we were up to a great start. Only watching unplugthetv videos, no more access to any news or social media whatsoever and other shit. I felt like my day had way more variety in comparison to others, maybe because it’s just the beginning, but after I’m into this for a week I’ll know for sure.

Talking to a stranger today: Fernanda, a friend of a friend that rides back home from school on the same van as she does.

Yeah, it was random and it was funny. People thought I was flirting with her since she’s really attractive and all, but yeaaaaah. Looking back, what the hell was I thinking, really.

What will I do when I’m 19 years old: I see myself in College and I’m having a hard time picturing anything else. Too many damn variables and you can’t predict shit. I might have my own apartment by then, who knows if I’ll get my license that soon.

Although I am sure I’ll work more than a slave, after all it’s architecture. Unappreciated work for long periods of journey. Yaaaaaaaaay!

But moving on, I’d love to have my apartment in São Paulo by then, or staying here in this condo. My sister is right about the view, it balances out all the money we pay for this condo.

As for my reevaluated long-belief: over-analysis.

For long I used to believe that rational thinking was the best way to try and understand things and people, which it really isn’t. It is a method, but not always the most efficient one. Empathy does much more wonders.

And this was my first day.

BTW, fuck cold showers.

DAY CHALLENGE CHOO-CHOO

Alright, so I’m taking on a 30 day challenge and here are my goals:

1#

Talk to one stranger each day

2#

Re-evaluate one long-held belief each day

3#

Media-fast for 30 days

4#

Pick one bad habit you already have and ditch it for 30 days

(I have this terrible habit of biting my nails since I was a child, and I finally managed to stop biting my fingernails. It’s time to give a go for the toes)

5#

Take a cold shower each day

6#

Think of an accomplishment you’d like to achieve for each year of the next 30 years, a year each day.

7#

Don’t lie for 30 days

And those are the ones I’ve picked. I’ll be doing this ’til December 20th so I’ll have something to look back to on Christmas. Wish me luck!

Day 4 – A letter to Bonnie’s crush/current significant other.

fuck it, son. I am getting this done. I’ve been stuck on this one for a month or so honestly… and I’ve had like multiple drafts, so whatever I type up I’ll keep and go with. I’M HERE PROMISING MYSELF. YEAP!

 

December 7th, 2011

Dear significant other,

LOL SIGNIFICANT OTHER? THIS IS A LETTER TO MYSELF. I AM MY ONLY LOVER.

Love,

Bonnie.

December 7th, 2011

Dear crush,

I can tell you like me, but I’m not sure if you like me that way or enough. You’re the guy, you make the move first… maybe.

Love,

Bonnie

 

 

To my family.

We’re not perfect.
Yes, it seems we are but in fact we might be as troubled as other families are. No matter how much we struggle.
But that’s what makes me love you. Sometimes a few relatives may think I’m peculiar for being happy at the slightest things… They have yet to learn how much they’re the most important.
I’ve learned that being around is the most important, it’s one of the most important factors necessary to keep us together. And yet, I have the audacity to ponder living miles away from all of you.
It is the hardest decision I have yet to make. But I’ll keep trying to reach out to you guys.
If I keep feeling suffocated the way I do, then I have no other choice.
I love you.

To my inspiration

To you, inspiration.

Oh how you’ve allowed me to become such a different person,
living and learning in unison.
Always pushing me to my fullest, to my very best.
But it is time I no longer follow you,
live for you.
be you.

Such mimicry has brought what I expected, not what I wanted.
When am I going to be happy? Not with you, of course.
In any case you’re the past and we’re both going to be part
of our own future. So… I’ll let you go.
It was good knowing you.

Continue reading

A letter to my closest friends.

Jed, Bonnie, Amree, Mint, Nicolas, Leo, Rafa, Fernando, Seiti, Yago, Rodrigo, Raíssa,

We’ve certainly had our ups and downs when it comes to closest friends.
I remember the time I was friends with someone for the first time, and how
I’m still trying to stand up after having him taken away from me the way he was.
It was certainly weird, and unexpected how we ran into such friendships,
and yet, how long-lasting those bonds have become.

Life sure is just as they say it is: Full of surprises.

Continue reading

A letter for you.

Yes, you.

If you’re reading this, you are either in the wrong place or stalked us enough to make it this far.
Tonight, let’s talk about you. You, my anonymous reader are the main character.
Look, look, search, search, nothing. Why? How come?
Try again, search, search, stalk, sta- Oh, you got something!
Your desires, feelings, thoughts and peace of mind.
What do they have to do with anything? Because I write them especially for you.
The keyword here is YOU.
YOU.
You?
Or is it them?
YOU and I could spend this whole night discussing, and we wouldn’t reach a conclusion on this topic:
“Which is the most important?”
.
.
.
You
.
.
.
or
Them?